Current mood:	morose
Current music:	Dir en grey - DOZING GREEN
Entry tags:	kaoruxdie, lemon, nc-17, one-shot

KaoruxDie: Phoenix
Title: Phoenix
Author: sanghamyers
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Bandfic, lemon with somewhat of a plot...
Comments: Somebody once complained about Kaoru and Die always doing it with rubbers, ne? Well, then this will make you happy! :] First piece of work after suffering writers block. Maybe that explains the title because it doesn't mean any bird or any city. XD It's like a metaphor for something unexpected rising. Like this. >D And thanks for 7/50 friended people reading and commenting so far!
Warning: Adult content - don't read if you're younger than 18!



I'm going to dedicate this to mog_fuyu! Consider it your birthday present. *hugs* Go shorty, it's your birthday~ *shot* Not much yet but... I hope you like it. :D

How he could've ended up here, Die couldn't tell. He really, and this wasn't just an excuse, would've never expected himself to lie right there, naked back touching smooth sheets while skilled fingers, usually as practiced as his in caressing strings on a guitar, were easily unbuckling his belt. Feverish kisses he exchanged with the one who Die had never thought would even give any guy a second glance, with his band-mate, Kaoru.

Surely out of ordinary and yet nothing Die would want to have missed right in this very moment. His own hands were tracing invisible patterns on the other man's unclad upper body, trailing down his spine and impatiently tugging on remains of clothing. Low mewls escaped both of their busy mouths, ravishing each other within one huge wave of clouded desire.

Undeniably both of their heads felt dizzy, at least Die's did, but right now he wasn't sure if it was caused by the alcohol he had drunk or plainly what the other man did to him.

Lips traced his torso. Nipping. Biting...

No more than a few hours ago Die hadn't even expected to meet Kaoru. He had been nothing but bored, or more likely desperate to go out and find something to do that was just casual and easy, needed no thinking and was simply fun. But he wasn't a teenager anymore, didn't go out in clubs with his friends, or tried to hit randomly on women. He just wanted some easiness, chill out somewhere, have a beer and somebody to chat maybe. The latter was a problem though since, and that was the hardest part of being a famous guitarist, all of his usual friends were married. Somehow they had grown without Die.

It wasn't bad, he had learned to go out alone, would meet other people anyway. One would think that the most common way would have been to meet with his band-mates because neither of them was married yet, although most of them had regular relationships or at least women they went out with. Thing was just that it wasn't common; nothing but. It was simply common to go out together when being on tour but not when being at home. They were buddies, band-mates and colleagues - but outside of the band, outside of work, their friends were other people, their private lives without any colleagues snooping there within, and despite the illusions of their fans, it was kept like that because none of them would want to change it. Being around each other was cool but not necessary twenty for seven, really not.

For that reason Die wouldn't even be able to say who of his band-mates currently dated any possible girlfriend, apart from Toshiya because he used to call his lady like forty times a day, but that was more information than Die would like to know anyway. All of them had their separate friends, far away from business and the band. They went out with their buddies and girls - separately. But that night Die had nobody to go out with and so he decided to just check out a new place not too far away from where he lived. It was just a bar, nothing posh, some quiet rock music sounding from the speakers, lights just dim enough that they wouldn't give away who he was too quickly.

Ordering a beer, his gaze slowly roamed around the place, after he had stepped inside and chosen to steer to the counter. The place was crowded though, air thick with smoke, and once Die had gathered his bottle of beer and paid, he slowly strolled through the masses of people in hopes to find a place to sit.

"Die?" He had almost missed to recognize the well-known voice that deeply rang in his ears as Die tried to make out from where it was coming. Eyes scanned the closest seats and tables until he finally spotted who had been calling him.

"Die," Kaoru addressed him again and waved him over with just a gesture of his head. He was a bit surprised to see the other guitarist here, most of all because he seemed to be alone, but even if Die would be in company, his band-mate liked to say Hello. Rarely Kaoru met any of his band-mates when not being on tour and thus he was rather cheery to actually see Die.

Flashing a smile Die made it to the table and was more or less forced to sit down next to the other man, since the room was so full with people that there was no space left next to their seats. Die hadn't missed to realize that apparently the other man wasn't alone, and he flashed a smile to the opposite sitting people as well, a man with rather short hair and glasses and another more stylish guy with dimples that showed as he grinned back at Die. "Hey," he gave away with somewhat of a nod in order to be polite before he turned to face Kaoru. "Crowded place, huh?"

"Tell me about it," the slightly older man just laughed lowly and shrugged. "Actually I was prepared for quietly having some beers. They-" A nod with his head addressed Kaoru's friends. "-didn't tell me that this place is so popular." The slightly sarcastic undertone made sure that Die would get the understatement in the sentence, and Kaoru just chuckled. "So what's bringing you here?"

A shrug followed from Die. "I've heard this place is new... and well, I'm checking it out." Another shrug, and then he flashed a typical grin. What did Kaoru expect? But then, how was Kaoru supposed to know? He knew as much about the others as they knew about him. That they had met by coincidence was astonishing enough since how big of chance was there for anything to happen like this in a city like Tokyo? Lower than low.

"Alone?" Naturally the question had to be asked, not even out of curiosity but just because nobody went out alone. That especially Die did not do that, Kaoru hadn't even considered yet.

"Yeah, most of the times I do that." Hardly believable, and Die knew it. He was a popular guy, no doubt, but still there were no regular buddies he went to have drinks with. "But still I haven't expected this place to be so crowded."

With a smile Kaoru nodded. "A wonder there's nobody recognizing us."

"Yeah, or then we're getting big-headed, expecting people to approach us." Mildly their conversation moved on like this, not usual in comparison to when they had a drink during any of their tours.

Soon a girl, pretty much younger than Kaoru, pressed herself on the sofa as well, right next to Die. She didn't say anything though, just flashed a grin and placed four bottles of beer on the table, before she fastened her eyes on Kaoru, nodding her head, then turning her attention to the stylish one opposite her, quickly falling in a conversation with him.

In a way it was cool that neither of Kaoru's friends seemed to mind that Die was also here, but then it was strange as well. They seemed so familiar with each other, exchanging smiles and gestures that spoke enough, more than words could do. And even more weird was that he felt practically like being the cheese within a sandwich, squeezed between his fellow guitarist and the young woman. With a bit of uncertainly Die turned to Kaoru. "Is she your girlfriend?"

Sipping from his beer, Kaoru grinned and shook his head. "Hell no. She's with Ren over there." A nod, no more, showed Die who Ren was. "And the other guy is Takeshi. He's actually waiting here for his boyfriend or lover or whatever." Casually he mentioned it, too accustomed to his friend having a thing for the same gender to actually start to explain any reasons.

"Means two couples plus you then, huh?" Die just merrily chuckled. "Seems like I'm not the only one alone then. Makes me feel better, Kaoru, thanks." Reaching for his pack of cigs, Die fished one out and lit it, inhaling the smoke and leaning back. So in the end it appeared to him that Kaoru and he were basically facing the same fate.

"Don't say it like that," Kaoru protested and leant back as well, resting one of his arms on the backrest. "I'm trying to avoid thinking of me as a leftover."

Heartily Die laughed. "Same here!" With that he lifted his bottle of beer and cheered. "To being no leftover."

And as the evening went on Die got to know more about Kaoru's friends, not necessarily profound information but just random things, yet he appreciated them associating with him as if they were just as much his friends as Kaoru's. Still it was strange, suddenly getting to know that for once his band-mate was the popular one and not Die, who would've believed that he was the socializing guy, having dozens of buddies who all wanted a bit of the merry guy. But now it was suddenly Kaoru who merrily drank and laughed with his friends - including the fellow guitarist.

Later on Takeshi's boyfriend had shown up though and after some time in which he integrated himself into their conversations, the two guys had started to stick their tongues down each other's throats though, before then, they had miraculously disappeared. Some time passed by until the other couple excused themselves as well, pretending to be tired. With a joyful grin Die even waved them Goodbye and watched as they left, before he fastened his eyes on the guy left next to him.

"Don't look like that, Kaoru! You're no leftover. I'm still here for you," Die laughed and swung an arm around his friend's shoulders, squeezing it in an affable manner.

At first Kaoru didn't get what Die had meant with his words and there was nothing but confusion written all over his face. Only slowly the penny dropped and the meaning dawned on Kaoru, even if he was sure that he couldn't have looked like he missed his buddies, at least it wasn't the case. The merry mood made him play along though, patting Die's knees affectionately. "Thanks, dude. You're so kind."

"I know I am," Die shortly leant it, just to give the other man a friendly push before another bright grin adorned his features. "I just won't snog you, man. That's out of menu tonight." No doubt that he was anything but sober either and most of the things Die said were jokes, some successful, some less, but all in all he was close to having a fit from laughing, smile almost breaking his face in two.

"No fair," Kaoru protested quite unfazed since in contrary to his band-mate he could simply keep his giggle-fits in check. He trumped with keeping his cool while throwing around with dryness, saying, "Does that mean you'd snog other guys some other night but not me?", and poked his index finger into Die's chest.

"Secret!" Die burst out with a wide smile, laughing so hard that his shoulders were shaking almost violently. Somehow he had enjoyed the evening so much thus far, and still did just being with the other man, that he couldn't tell anymore if his high came from the amount of alcohol or his totally bright and light-hearted mood. He guessed both though.

Inhaling deeply, Kaoru pursed his lips as if he wanted to say something important but then he just exhaled and stared into the other man's eyes until finally his laughter died somewhat. "Die. I need to go. To the gents." A nod of his head gave away his determination and without hesitation Kaoru got up and squeezed himself past the other man. Low chuckles made his way across his lips, the merry mood not missing to spread within Kaoru as well.

Soon enough they kept on drinking and chatting, not about business or the band, but about people and silly things, laughing along to each of their jokes and phrases. The minutes ran by and hours determinedly crept forward. Only when Die and Kaoru got told that the bar would close in a few minutes, they actually realized that it had become quite empty inside.

Nudging the other man, Die grinned. "Better get going before they'll kick us out."

"Carry me," the other one mumbled and tried to keep his head above the table, carefully trying to steady the head on his shoulders before slowly slipping his feet on the ground in order to get up. With a dreadful sigh he made it and focused his attention to the next task: how to get a bandleader into his jacket.

On same shaky legs Die got up as well, much quicker though and he stumbled forward some steps, hastily slipping into his own jacket, which hung pretty unshaped around his shoulders. He led the way outside not on purpose but his legs seemed to move suddenly even faster than they usually did, although it proved to be hard not to tumble down on the ground at some points. "Shit, I'm feeling good!"

When Kaoru exited the bar as well he groaned. "Ooh. Fresh air." Instantly there was an unpleasant sickness rising in his stomach and the dizziness in his head got worse. Actually he was supposed to call a cab now but somehow the thought of driving within a car didn't sound very enjoyable right now. "Hey Die, wait for me. You're living near, ne?"

"Ye~ah...?" Furrowing his brows Die tilted his head and dug his hands deep in his pockets as he tried to appear as cool as usual. Actually his teeth started to clatter though and he couldn't tell if there were actually one or two Kaorus speaking to him. "Why do you ask?"

"No way I'll be setting foot in a car right now! Let's have coffee at yours then." Solution found, Kaoru curtly nodded and inwardly cursed himself for doing so right afterwards.

"At mine? Oh~kay. Why not...?" Shrugging Die set one foot in front of the other, making small but quick steps into the direction of where he lived. Soon enough he couldn't suppress his clattering teeth anymore and when he finally stopped in front of the apartment complex he lived in, pulling out his keys appeared very troublesome.

Somehow Kaoru didn't feel the cold at all and he actually grinned at his friend taking almost a whole century to fish the keys out of his pocket. In a sudden movement the bandleader pressed his body flush against Die's back, wrapped arms around his waist and propped his chin on the broad shoulder. "Figured that you need help," he muttered and first started with pulling away Die's hands. "Uh, you must've the temperature of a polar bear."

"Th-thank-ks." The taller man just sighed and leant back against his friend, the warmth radiating from him too good to ignore. Also, Die shoved his hips forward and gazed down on himself. "P-pocket. Right."

Trying to balance his taller friend, Kaoru sneaked a glimpse down to mentioned hips as well, before he directed his fingers to fish out the desired keys. A shiver ran down Die's spine, oddly and stirring, and he was quite sure that it wasn't from the coldness. Only now he got aware of the hand on his stomach as well, not quite sure when it had got there, but now undeniably making Die's skin feel ridiculously hot underneath the fabric of his shirt.

Clasping the key in his own hand, Kaoru didn't wait and unlocked the main door that led both of them inside the building. While he watchfully closed the door, Die had already pressed the button for the lift to take them up to his floor.

Just when Die wanted to walk inside, someone grasping his wrist held him back. With a questioning stare he turned to raise one eyebrow at his friend, who just stood there and shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"But... my apartment's in the fifth floor." Stating that, Die just pulled an arm across his band-mate's slim shoulders and shoved him inside the lift. "No way I walk."

"And what if I-? You know." Kaoru slung an arm around Die's narrow hips and tried to tell himself that he surely won't do what he feared he might as soon as the lift started to move.

"I'm gonna punch you if you can't keep it inside." Playfully the taller man raised his fist and brought it to Kaoru's cheek, but instead of hitting him, he just gently patted him. "Just don't think about it. Think of something nice."

"What else should I be thinking about?" The older one lowly purred as he visibly enjoyed the attention he gained from Die's touch.

"I don't know. Sex always works fine for me," Die gave away with a bright grin, before a small frown appeared on his features. "On a second thought it makes me horny though."

"Great advice, Die. Thank you." Luckily they had arrived in the fifth floor by now and this meant that Kaoru was saved from the lift and its dangers. They both staggered down the corridor until they've reached the right apartment. In amusement Kaoru watched Die's attempt to unlock the door since he was fumbling with the keys as if to invent these things anew. Casually Kaoru threw and arm around the other guy's shoulders and leant into him from behind, lowly purring in his ear. "I know you can do it."

"It'd work better if you stopped distracting me!" Die emitted a frustrated sigh and blew one strand of bright-dyed hair out of his eyes. The closer his friend was to him, the lower were chances for Die to finally open the door. He could deny it if he wanted to but yes, Kaoru made him nervous. Or excited? Both, probably. But his mind could only concentrate on the facts, not able to analyze them as well.

"I am sorry." Words stated more like coming from a robot than a human being, Kaoru patiently waited but didn't move any tiny bit away from his friend. The thought that he made the other man nervous amused the smaller man. Suddenly there was something about Die. The cuteness usually only women showed when being with Kaoru. Gorgeous antics that enticed him. "Say Die, would you really not kiss me? Like ever? Never? Not even if I asked you nicely?"

Instantly heat shot in Die's cheeks and he could swear that he hadn't blushed like this since he had been a sixth grader. When he turned his head just a bit to look into his friend's dark eyes, he could already feel his hot breath on his face, lips suddenly so close that he had to swallow hard, licking his dry lips. "Err..." He couldn't remember the last time someone had made him stutter either. "M-maybe."

Clearly, it had started to be meant as some kind of joke, but right now this was anything but that to Kaoru. Die's answer along with the sight of his lips as his tongue darted out to wet them made something within the older man snap, as if some barrier suddenly broke and his mind no longer existed. Leaning in he kissed Die, no more than pressing his own lips gently against the other ones. For just a moment Die hesitated as his heart loudly began to pound in his chest, before he responded and opened his lips, allowing Kaoru's tongue to explore his mouth. Not in the least bit it was revolting, quite the contrary.

Never in his entire life Kaoru had acted that way, not with another guy, and surely not with one of his friends. But he had never been aroused that quickly either, their kiss almost too good to be true. Was this real? It didn't matter. An inaudible gasp left his lips as his back was suddenly pressed against the hard surface of the door, but Kaoru only pulled Die even closer, fingers wrapping themselves in the fabric of a thin jacket.

Instinct was left within Die's mind and whole being, when he almost reflexively made it to unlock the door, a clicking sound being the last sign of success. They tumbled into the apartment, trying not to break their kiss, while Kaoru was already busy removing Die's jacket from off his shoulders. Both their actions were somewhat uncontrolled, hasty and desperate but neither of them cared either, just wanting to make sure that the sparkle that had grown into a fire within them wouldn't cease. Of course their heads were clouded by alcohol and nobody could tell what would be once they truly came to think about what they were doing. But right now nothing else mattered than to just give in to the temptation.

The craziest thing about the whole situation was that being with another man made Die incredibly horny, that it wasn't just another woman but something else, new, somebody else, a guy, Kaoru. And he wanted Die as well; Die knew and felt it. One could speculate about the reasons of their sudden hunger but surely neither of them would even actually think right now, just act. In a matter of seconds jackets were discarded to the floor, shoes slipped off feet and hands exploring bodies underneath cotton fabrics of clothes. Once Die had finally managed to remove Kaoru's two(!) shirts, long- and short-sleeved, a pleased sigh rolled off his lips while he pressed his palms against the smaller man's chest.

When Kaoru's naked back touched the cold surface of the wall behind him, he just wrapped his arms tighter around the taller one, pulling him close, so close that he gained not just contact but heat. Tongues greedily battling, fingers entangled within bright hair, tilting, pulling, and speaking of their owner's desire. A low grunt spilled from Kaoru's lips and their kiss became somewhat rough, before he bit down on the lower-lip that invitingly lush teased him. The following gasp sounded like music.

The roughness, their battle, and the not existing submission turned Die on even more and although he could easily fall into that dizziness within his head, everything was spinning, he managed to remember where to lead the two of them. Things happened in a rush and were yet so intoxicating that each small touch flared up Die's lust. Somehow, he couldn't really tell for sure, they had made it into the bedroom and Die's thick shirt was gone, naked chest pressed against more naked and hot skin.

It was a matter of luck, or coincidence that it needed no more than a slight push so that Kaoru's friend fell flat on the bed, Kaoru soon on top of the other man, indulging his neck with kisses and small, excitingly teasing bites. What he was actually doing and if it was what Die wanted him to do, Kaoru couldn't tell, didn't care that much anyway, when he just did what he wanted to, what his need demanded him to do in order to still his hunger. Right now his friend was a feast, deliciously looking and tasting. But not yet, not yet it was enough. It had just begun.

Lips tracing his torso. Nipping. Biting.

Die's head fell back into the softness of his bed, body writhing slightly underneath the other man's doings. Teeth were attached to one of his nipples, a lively tongue that darted out only to send even more thrilling shivers down Die's spine. This was good, so good it almost felt surreal when he watched who was doing all these things to him. Low murmurs of pleasure spilled from his lips, while Die's hands were trying to grasp any flesh reachable. His fingers ran down a lusciously curved spine, covered Kaoru's butt and pulled him closer. He could never be close enough.

Kaoru groaned out lowly when his groin was being pulled directly against Die's, need palpable through even the thick material of his blue jeans. With desperation his hands roamed across smooth skin, while he captured Die's lips once more with his, ravishing his mouth with heated kisses. Bringing one of his hands down between their bodies, Kaoru unbuckled Die's belt, quickly unzipping his pants, popping the button open, and unceremoniously pushed the unwanted garment down across narrow hips as far as he could reach. Too soon an arm-length wasn't enough though. But he wouldn't draw back his hand, instead shoved it as deeply into Die's boxers as he could reach.

A mewl drowned out somewhere in Die's throat while their kiss was lasting, and as he felt fingers brush against his arousal, his hips bucked up involuntarily. He was rock hard. It had become almost torture, there just was not enough pressure yet, nothing to still the lust but only to increase it. He pressed his crotch right into Kaoru's hand, desperately clinging to the other man, lips tearing away just to emit gasps of pleasure. Shallow breathes made Die's chest heave, the muscles in his stomach involuntarily clenching whenever another electric jolt of pleasure cursed through his body, forcing moans out between Die's opened lips.

Lacing his fingers around Die's hardness, Kaoru couldn't help but inwardly smile as he saw the reactions it elicited in his friend. These sounds drove Kaoru crazy, made him want to fuck Die right there and then. As he kept on moving his hand along the other man's hard length, Kaoru attached his lips to the invitingly looking Adam's apple, sucking the skin across the moving knuckle hidden inside this strong throat. No woman was like that. They wouldn't enjoy that Kaoru lacked gentleness right now. But Die... More throaty groans rolled off his lips, breathes quick and unsteady, demanding.

Suddenly Kaoru stopped all kinds of actions, detached himself from his friend and lazily leant back on his ankles, watching and drowning in the sight of the other man, lying half-naked and aroused sprawled out in front of his eyes. He knew that Die had focused his eyes on him, paid attention to what he would be up to and he did nothing but to open the button of his own jeans, bulge almost appearing unhealthily huge thanks to the position Kaoru was in.

Hungrily Die's eyes watched, his teeth sucked in his lower lip, biting it, wetting, but the desire nearly seemed to make him insane. He propped himself up within merely the split of a second, attending to his friend as he blindly opened the zip of his fly, rather busying his mouth by tugging at one of the dark-haired man's nipples. That Kaoru actually hissed out a small breath, made Die gain even more courage, now lapping with his tongue across the hard bud while he pushed down useless garments as far as possible. Was it even possible to want anybody that much? Eat him alive, draw him in and give himself to him - that's what Die wanted more than anything else. The exposed flesh that was twitching within his hand left him in awe at the sensations of the pure feel of it. He could feel the shudder running through his friend underneath his own lips as he dragged his thump across the tip of Kaoru's hard member. Intoxicated, Die threw all remaining hesitation, if it had ever existed, over board and bent down sliding his lips around its thick tip.

On their own accord Kaoru's hips moved forward, burying his cock deeper inside of Die's eager mouth, hands grasping bangs of reddish blond hair, holding the pleasure-serving friend in place. And oddly, Die didn't even mind his own choke, just squeezed his eyes shut tightly and sucked even harder. He could show in a different way that he hadn't lost control, making Kaoru surrender, and the following rasp of a deep moan was evidence enough that Die had succeeded. But there was no way Kaoru would give in yet, and he would do just that if he allowed the other guy to suck him off like this. Using the grip his hand had on Die's hair, Kaoru pulled him away, not too gently and with determination, that it even elicited a small yelp from Die.

The action too fast to get, suddenly lips bruised his in a demanding kiss, a tongue pushing, challenging his on the verge of being forceful, and Die found himself flat on his back. But soon his lips were free, breathing quickly as lungs demanded more air, shivers cursed themselves through his veins, leaving his body in trembles. When he almost absent-mindedly realized that Kaoru was finally removing the remains of both their clothes, Die instinctively spread his legs. He didn't know what it would feel like, had no clue about it whatsoever, but what he knew was that he was extremely horny and would most likely do anything if Kaoru would just do something, anything. If only the strain of his lust would vanish and leave Die in bliss.

Despite all the desperation and the pure need, as well as the remains of alcohol in his system, Kaoru still knew that he couldn't just fuck his friend like this, would tear him apart if he did so. What he knew wasn't much, could only try but that he would do quickly, not wasting any time for questions. Palms traced along slender and creamy thighs as Kaoru sank down and drew a line with the tip of his tongue along Die's length. His member twitched, danced almost. Entertaining. Kaoru did the same again, this time with his mouth, feeling the veins pass his tongue, and the sound of Die's unsteady groan rang like drugged music in his ears.

Die bit down on his lip when he felt a finger touch him between his butt cheeks, rubbing across the opening there several times. He had been prepared, somehow, or as much as he could have been mentally, for something invading him, and that it would cause him pain. But this was different, thrilling even, sent pleasant shivers all across his skin. And then, when Kaoru took his hardness all the way into his hot mouth while at the same time he pressed a finger through the tight ring of muscles, right into him, Die's voice didn't sound like his own anymore as he moaned out loudly. It was just so weird, strange, and unknown, actually having someone else's finger inside, but yet turning Die on so much that he could hardly control himself. And Kaoru sucked him just so good...

Only when Kaoru inserted two fingers, he could hear his friend draw in a sharp intake of breath, see him clenching his teeth for a moment in order to suppress another squeak after a first one had managed to escape him. But to his relief Die relaxed soon while Kaoru kept on pleasuring him with his mouth, just not enough to make him come yet. The tongue that ran across the tip of his hard-on and its tiny slit nearly brought Die close to the edge, pushing against the invading fingers, needing them deeper. He couldn't know how it was possible, lacked the mind in this very moment, but it did something to him, touched something inside of him that almost made him scream out loud. Control lost over his own body, he began to utter small pleas, voice hoarse and rasping. He wanted Kaoru to fuck him. Really fuck him. Fuck him for what he was worth. Just the thought made Die nearly lose all sense of mind.

To see his friend like that, to experience him losing control and the words he uttered, made Kaoru act as if he had done that a thousand times before. Pulling his fingers out, he laced them around his own cock, spreading the pre-cum that had began to ooze out all down his length as best as he could. Then he positioned himself ready to enter, placing the tip at Die's entrance and slowly penetrating his friend. The tightness was blinding. Kaoru shut his eyes, taking breathes that were supposed to calm him down and get him used to the new sensations. It was in vain, breath-taking, nothing had ever been better.

An outcry of pain found its way out of Die's throat, sounding nearly like a wail, when he felt the other man push himself into his body. A burning feeling spread inside of him, sending jolts of ache up his spine. Die shut his eyes tightly, trying to take deep breathes, getting accustomed to what was happening and its feel. He knew, even if he knew hardly anything about butt-sex, but he at least damn well knew they should use some kind of lubrication. Which didn't exist in his home. And seconds ago he wouldn't have cared anyway. But now... Die just had to adjust and welcome the intruder. And slowly, as the pain vanished somewhat and just left an odd feeling, he began to like that he was being filled so intimately. Hips bucking, Die was ready. No matter what.

The other man hadn't missed his friend's reaction, telling himself to wait with patience for Die to adjust, and he didn't disappoint when all of a sudden he seemed to be very eager again. A smile ghosted across Kaoru's lips when he began to make small thrusts into the body beneath him, the tightness and the heat making him moan out instantly. For a moment Kaoru just closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensations flooding him, but then the plain thought of Die made him snap his lids back open. He wanted to see him, how the own tattooed hands ran across milky hips and thighs, see the chest rising and falling with each breath Die took, his parted lips gasping.

No matter how hard he would try, Die couldn't hold back the noises spilling from his mouth. It was just so much, painful and at the same time endlessly good, filled like this. He didn't give a damn about the painful side, just impatiently urged his friend to go faster, grinding his butt against him in rhythm with his still small thrusts. The hair that fell into Die's face slowly began to feel damp, glued to his forehead more and more, while his body began to writhe in pleasure, winding like a snake in order to gain even more. And as the pain subsided, this other feeling came back, the one that blinded Die from flashes of sheer delight.

To see the display of emotions run across his friend's face drove Kaoru to a state close to wild. He wanted to scream, shout it from the top of his lungs how good this was feeling. He wanted to bath Die within these feelings, drive him nuts with it and make him lose every mind he had ever possessed. Subconsciously Kaoru had sped up his thrusts, aiming deeper and harder, while he dropped chaste kisses on the taller man's pale chest. Hands grasped his narrow shoulders and pulled him closer, until he was able to cover the desperately waiting lips. Now that Die was literally moaning into Kaoru's mouth, he loved those sounds even more, muffled but so clearly out of any control. Their sounds mingled. Almost like playing together, they were each other's instruments.

Die clung to the older male and yet, his hands could never find a place to settle, restlessly wandering across Kaoru's shoulders, along his chest, teasing and urging. Fingers temporarily entangled within dark locks of hair as Die laid all his yearning into their kiss, before it was his own gasp that in the end tore them apart. Die cast his eyes away, head pressed back into the pillows, he was not able to contain himself any longer. Each thrust made him emit another sound, moans different than he made them when he was with women. He felt like bursting from all the sensations running along every pore of his being.

The harder and deeper Kaoru pumped himself into Die, the sooner he felt himself nearing the unbearable edge. Just some more, not much, he was so close. Pacing up, he could taste the saltiness of his skin as he licked across his own lips. The skin of his friend held a shimmer of wet, most of all between his shoulders and the long neck, underlining the fine curves and muscles. Thirst. And then Kaoru bit down right there, almost breaking the delicate skin. Delicious. Every tiny inch of Die tasted like heaven. Slapping noises from where their skin connected each time Kaoru thrust into his friend reminded of something raw, wild and untamed. It drove them both even closer.

Die knew he couldn't hold back any longer when something suddenly struck him, a wave of pleasure so huge that it made his cock twitch, feeling himself coming involuntarily. Thrashing his head from one side to the other, his fingers dug deeply into Kaoru's back, tugging his friend in need to gain completion. A long, loud groan escaped Die and then out of the blue no sound came out of him anymore as his climax washed over him and his stomach was suddenly covered in sticky liquid.

Feeling Die's body clench and contradict around Kaoru, he couldn't care less about whatever sticky mess suddenly clung not only to Die but also to him. He just paced up one final time, couldn't even make more then two or three more thrusts, and burst, filling the other guy with his load. Like thousands of tiny pleasant shudders Kaoru's orgasm made him lose strength and power at the same time as plain but wonderful bliss filled his body and mind. He slowed down gradually, breathing heavily, until he finally collapsed on top of his friend's slightly stronger frame.

His lungs were stinging, trying to gather air, while exhaustion was making Die not able to move a single finger. With Kaoru still inside, he was just lying there, doing nothing, mind empty, delightfully drowned within fulfillment. Somehow complete. He didn't care about the weight of the smaller man's body, not even since it made breathing even harder, because if Die could, he would want to melt into one with Kaoru right now. Odd, as odd as their whole interaction had been, but the heat between them was still more than nice.

Kaoru couldn't tell how much time had passed until his breathing had somewhat steadied and his muscles wouldn't ache anymore. His bones felt like stones though and he wouldn't move just a millimeter, shifting only slightly to pull out of Die, before he just closed his eyes and rested. If Die minded him where he was lying, then Die would do something about it. All Kaoru wanted to do right now, was enjoying the warmth, the coziness, and give in to his exhaustion. He had been tired before being horny and now it quickly got even worse. So worse that he was sure if he just rested and closed his eyes, he'd fall asleep in an instant.

From Kaoru's steady breathing Die could easily guess that he had indeed fallen asleep, still lying onto him. He couldn't afford the strength to open his eyelids and actually check though. He just heard the other man's breathing, listened to it like a lullaby that made Die drowsy and weak, most of all too tired to do anything but breathe. In a matter of seconds he fell into a deep slumber, one arm draped around Kaoru's waist, making sure that he wouldn't have to miss the cozy warmth.



A hardly audible, but rasping groan fell from Die's dry lips as he opened one eye and got blinded by bright sunlight. He tightly shut his eyes before he tried again, this time batting both his eyelids up and down in order to adjust to the light within the room. Hadn't he drawn the curtains last night?

There was a bitter taste in his mouth and Die was thirsty, very much indeed. He remembered having gone out. Alright, and he had met Kaoru. And he had slept with Kaoru.

Another moan spilled from his lips.

As he rolled on his back the uncomfortable soreness he felt in his lower back reminded Die. So this it was like, he thought rather dryly on the verge of smiling to himself. Next time he should make sure to top.

As the thought crossed his mind, he lifted his head and roamed his gaze around. There was nobody else but he. No Kaoru anywhere. That was, as much as Die wished it weren't, a little disappointing. Sure, he would've never interpreted this as some kind of 'thing' between them, just a one-night-stand of some uncommon sort, but still. Kaoru could've waited until after breakfast.

It didn't matter if it had just been two drunk guys, having had sex. That's what it had been, right? It was OK. But it had still cost Die something. He had allowed Kaoru to fuck him. Had allowed a guy to stick his cock up his ass. That wasn't really nothing. Besides, it had been good. So there was surely no need for sentimentality. But at least a cigarette together?

Wiping the back of his hand across his eyes, Die shoved his feet out of the bed and onto the cool ground, before he slowly lifted his body. Oh yes, soreness in the lower back. He had heard of this before, hadn't been able to remember last night though. He fairly pulled a face suddenly noticing the stains on his stomach. But he needed a shower anyway. That and water, loads of water for his thirsty throat. Grabbing himself a pair of boxers he quickly slipped into them and almost managed to smack his head against the door-frame.

Then he pulled open the door.

His heart stopped beating for a moment as his eyes suddenly met the sight of Kaoru.

He had been silent, quietly sneaking away from Die, since Kaoru had woken up much too early and couldn't fall asleep again. Even if he hadn't minded the other man's low snoring, Kaoru's mind had drifted off into thoughts of what-ifs. Then after what had seemed like an eternity to him anyway, he had decided to just leave. What they had done, had been good but nothing that would or should happen again, or on a regular basis. They had been drunk and had sex. And most likely Die would even be glad if he woke up alone and wouldn't have to face the guy who had fucked him last night.

Kaoru had successfully tried to convince himself.

Carefully he had detached himself from Die, making his way into the bathroom, just to get rid of the worst, clean himself as best as manageable without taking a shower. He had brought his clothes with him, having had collected them on his way outside the bedroom, and got dressed with a pounding heart. It was weird and unpleasant to sneak out.

Kaoru had just made it to find his jacket on the floor, first arm already slipped into the sleeve, when suddenly the door to Die's bedroom was being opened. Brown orbs stared into Kaoru's. For a moment time seemed to have stopped.

Caught. Kaoru just felt caught. And yet he wasn't doing something forbidden, was he? His heart beat loudly against his ribcage and there was a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. Die of all people. It couldn't be true.

Not knowing what to say or to do, Die just stood there like frozen to the spot. He couldn't possibly go and do what? Kiss the other one Goodbye? Not that Die even wanted. It was just so ridiculously hurting that they hadn't something to say at all, that after all Kaoru just went without words. So in the end Die just forced a small smile, almost coy, not really knowing if was adequate.

The hint of Die's smile was enough to break the spell though, Kaoru tore his gaze off the other man and finally slipped inside his jacket. Then he faced him again, this time passing an apologetic look. He was sorry for having no words. He just hoped that Die would understand and they had found a silent agreement when their gazes met a last time, before Kaoru just opened the door, cast his eyes off Die, turned and slipped outside.

The sounds of the door clicking shut and the sigh Die emitted mixed into one. Somehow this hadn't felt right at all. He knew Kaoru was probably just as surprised about the happenings from last night as Die was and that's why he couldn't be mad at him for leaving. But it was still not right. It didn't feel right. It left this feeling inside of Die that he didn't like at all, although his mind told him that it was OK. He had had good sex and usually the conclusion had always been enough, no matter how many women he had to leave behind. He could still face them with a carefree smile.

But it held something not carefree at all when being left by Kaoru...

Although this couldn't repeat itself. For sure.

Although...

Die had contemplated the matter over and over in his mind, still did so every day, even right in the very moment as he sat there in the bar and senselessly stared ahead, smoking yet another cigarette. One whole week had passed, seven days with Die thinking about why it still felt wrong when he remembered how he and Kaoru had parted.

They had faced each other during rehearsals, spoken to one another in between recordings, during breaks, work in general. But they hadn't spoken a word about what had happened between them one week ago. Not that it would really be necessary. A plain one-night-stand, nothing more.

That's why he didn't even know why he found himself sitting in the same bar over and over again, same table as back then with the other male, each and every night from the third night on after their encounter. People had approached Die, invited him, tried to chat with him and although he gladly accepted the distraction, he found his eyes always casting back to the door. What did he expect? Or... who?

Probably, which was the worst part, Die would slowly go insane. If he were sane, then he would just take home one of the chicks that tried to hit on him each night. If he were sane, he wouldn't waste time here with doing nothing. If he were truly sane, then he wouldn't hope for Kaoru and him meeting again, here. And then...

A sigh fell from his lips. Yet another.

When Kaoru stepped into the room, his gaze instantly began to roam. He knew who he was hoping to see here. He hadn't been able to just dismiss the whole matter about the encounter of last week. He couldn't get Die out of his head. It was just impossible.

Spotting the figure he had wanted to see, Kaoru hesitated though, suddenly not sure if what he did here was actually right. If Die really would want the same. Like frozen Kaoru's gaze had fastened upon his friend, the way he just sat there, waiting...? He appeared lost, as lost as Kaoru was feeling, but maybe it was just wishful thinking.

But then Die turned his head. Their eyes met. Gazes locked. And despite the pounding heart inside his chest, Kaoru suddenly knew it, knew that he wasn't the only one. With hope those brown orbs stared back at him, yet as uncertain as the older man had been seconds ago.

Die didn't trust his eyes, but didn't allow himself to even bat an eyelash, afraid the image would vanish, the person wouldn't be here anymore and the dream would burst like a bubble. That it truly wasn't just a dream, he only realized when Kaoru stepped forward, closer to him, slowly but with determination. There was no smile on his face, just an expression mirroring Die's, shaded by blankness that hid the same emotions.

When Kaoru had finally arrived the table, stopping in front, his eyes ask Die a question. No words crossed his lips. But Die understood and formed his lips into an appreciating smile.

Returning the smile Kaoru slid onto the seat next to him.






*Last part was written to Placebo's version of 'Running up that Hill' - no better song would've fit. *_*

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